Last week was a tough one. If you’re new here; here’s a very important piece to the backbone of Mindfully Sarah: I’ve struggled with emotional eating since I was nine. As I’ve said in past posts, what started as an instinctive urge to gain control (food) became my security blanket. I’ve been in conscious recovery from this issue for the past three years.
Fast forward to last week weekend, I let my food demons get the better of me. It was a much needed reminder that recovery is not linear. There will be the days and weeks where I feel like the motivation and light has been sucked out of me.
To everyone out there in recovery, what we deal with on a day to day basis isn’t easy. I was never a person to shine a light on what I struggle with; but I know doing so will help and educate someone else out there.
Recovery, or overcoming any struggle, is not an easy road. We will sway off path. As long as we choose to get back onto the path, it is possible to recover and lead a more fulfilled life.
Friday was frustrating and confusing. I woke up with a pit in my stomach, migraine, and overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I found myself stuck in a in a 3-day funk. No use of mindfulness, skills, or hope. I just suffered through, pretending it was a bad dream; while I wished I confronted it as a reality.
Saturday I woke up prepared to figure out where I went wrong and make it right. Did I have a few days of backtracking? Yes. Am I quitting? No way.
This is the shitty part of growth, discovery, the ‘journey‘. Being conscious & aware through these days are necessary and will aid in growth. The next time I find myself in this situation, I don’t want to be afraid of the obstacles in the road. I want to keep finding ways to maneuver them. I just need to keep moving forward, even when I’m beat down.
I kicked off Saturday with a cycling class, C25K run, and a wash/cut at C&C Hair Salon for only $27! The owner, Gengis, was knowledgeable, so friendly, and listened to what I wanted! I also got my personalized cuff ring from Bliss Stamped Jewelry’s Etsy shop. I got this for myself as a reminder that “nothing is as strong as gentleness, and nothing is as gentle as real strength.” I tend to be hard on myself, but sometimes I need a quick reminder to have compassion, forgiveness, and gentleness. Saturday night I spent hanging out with my roommate watching “Adult Beginners” on Netflix sipping smoothies.
Sunday was a productive day! The city was a little gloomy and chilly, so I did a quick gym session in the morning – had to fit in my last day of C25K week 2! I then met a friend for coffee, and did a walk around Central Park.
After we separated, I headed to Loft to return a pair of shorts and walked straight into the danger zone: 40% Off and Extra 60% Off Clearance. You read that correctly. While I tried on a bunch of summery options, I ended up buying the Flowerbed Flare Dress (I paid $33, originally $98) and Riviera Shorts 4-Inch Inseam in Whisper White for (I paid $18, originally $49.50).
After going home to relax quickly, I headed to Union Square to see Amy Schumer’s new movie “I Feel Pretty.” It was witty, funny, and had a powerful message. While a little controversial, I think it was a worth going. Also, does anyone have Moviepass? I’m seriously considering.
Then we grabbed a glass of Happy Hour wine & cheese at Bleecher’s Handmade Cheese and had some much needed Sunday night girl talk. My night ended grabbing some roasted cauliflower & broccoli from Maoz and watched my guilty pleasure, American Housewife until like 11pm. Ended a tough weekend on a very light note, ready to go into this week armed and ready.
Question of the week: have you ever changed a habit and regressed?