As a millennial woman, I know the comparison game very well. Most of us put on some type of persona when out in public and ESPECIALLY on social media. I’m definitely guilty of scrolling through peers and influencers profiles. I would ask myself: How are they living this lavish life full of materialistic things, travel, perfect lifestyle, body, & family? What am I not doing that I should be doing? I see my mood shift almost instantaneously to inadequacy and that what I have is not enough.
A huge part of my recovery journey was incorporating self-care rituals, meditation, etc into my daily routines. It became apparent to me how recovery and comparison counteracted each other. One was raising me up and the other was limiting me from achieving my full potential.
For me, comparison resulted in feelings of guilt and shame. The saddest thing about comparisons is how illogical they are. I was comparing the ‘worst’ parts of myself to the ‘best’ versions of women in my peer group, the version they allowed the public to see. We only see a glimpse of everyone else, we’ll never know the struggles they go through to get where they are today. And I can’t lie, I’m guilty for putting on a shiny exterior on social media platforms. Except for on Mindfully Sarah – I rarely post about my not-so-great days on Facebook or Instagram.
So what can we do to change this? The first step is always awareness. Notice when you are comparing and shift your perspective to focus on your journey as much as possible. The moment we remove the magnify glass from emphasizing our faults, everything will change. Your attitude, energy, happiness, willingness to take risks, and love for yourself.
Last thing, just because you’ve stopped comparing yourself, doesn’t mean you can’t admire others. Another woman’s success doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Consciously allow her accomplishment to inspire you to move forward in YOUR unique journey.
Imagine reaching out to that friend, coworker, or role model and celebrating her successes and vocalizing your support for her. Nine times out of ten, she will appreciate you contacting her more than you know.
My personal experience? I’ve reached out to multiple women in my life, and as a result, they shared advice, become accountability partners, friends, and part of my support system.
We are all fabulous. Let’s change our perspectives – rather than competition and comparison, let’s be teammates in the journey for success, happiness, and growth.